Thursday was Thanksgiving. My daughter and 2 of her friends come to my house for dinner. They brought most of the dinner with them and we had a lovely meal mixed with enjoyable conversation. After they departed, I got to thinking which is usually not a good thing.
The 4 of us sitting around the Thanksgiving table all have college degrees and we all had decent jobs/careers with decent incomes, my primary career having ended when I retired and assumed some new roles in life. That line of thinking took me on some side trips down past roads.
When my brothers and I were growing up on our small farm in New York State, we were not rich by a long shot. In fact, many would have called us poor. Knowing what I know now, I would not have called us poor. I would have called us broke. The difference between poor and broke is a big one. A poor person and a broke person may have the same amount of money, or lack thereof. The difference, and it is a huge one, is in the attitude. A poor person may whine and fuss and perhaps blame their situation on others and, these days, may stand in line for every handout they can find. They most often don't get off their duffs and make things happen to earn a living. On the other hand, a broke person tends to consider himself temporarily without money. He usually doesn't think of taking a handout or, if he has to, he feels ashamed and often feels others need it more than he does. He is out there beating the bushes for ways to earn an income; he's a go-getter. That's what my parents were. My father worked full time at IBM in a blue-collar position. He took care of the farm, his cows and his garden early mornings, evenings and weekends. My mother pasteurized milk twice a day, canned vegetables from the garden and took care of 3 young children until we were old enough to go to school all day. then she went to work part time to help make ends meet. Although we didn't have a lot of extra money for frivolous things, we ate well and had a loving family life. I never thought of us as poor and I don't think my parents did either.
Fast forward to the very end of the 1970s and the beginning of the 1980s. My husband, William, and I bought a locksmith shop in Reno, Nevada. I worked in the shop during the day and William and our 1 employee were out much of the day on calls. We were unfortunate in that the economy was beginning to slow down and Reno was not exempt from the fallout. The shop paid for itself but not so much for us to eat. William was already putting in 14 to 16-hour days so the only viable solution was for me to get another job at night. We didn't sit around on our butts and moan about our situation; we looked at our options and did what had to be done to support ourselves. We both worked very hard during that time. Then I went in the hospital for surgery. I was supposed to be there for a week. Back then they didn't turn you out when your anesthesia wore off :-). After that week I went home. A few days later I was back in the hospital with a collapsed lung and an infection which kept me in the hospital for 2 more weeks and at home recovering for several more weeks before I was strong enough to go back to work. My night job was one where if you didn't work, you didn't get paid. So, for a couple of months we lived on what little excess the shop provided which was not much. We ate a lot of beans.
One evening my boss from my night job showed up at our door with a box full of food. We were very appreciative but I was shocked since we never thought of ourselves as needing a handout. That box of food changed how I felt for a short time. I suddenly thought "We are poor!" Fortunately, that thought didn't last long. But, it was a brief glimpse into the world of handouts. Handouts can change the way you think about yourself and, as a result, it can change the way you react to the world around you in a very negative way. If you think you are poor, you can get into that mode of whining and fussing and feeling bad about yourself which can lead you to give up, sit on your butt and do nothing to change your situation. This is a declining spiral and gets passed on from one generation to the next if you aren't careful. I believe we are living in a country where this is prevalent today. And, it is a sad thing which, I believe, is one of the things that is turning many in this country into dependent wimps who are satisfied to look to big government for everything in their lives. I believe it is one of the things that is bringing this country down.
Don't get me wrong. I am all in favor of helping those who are unable to help themselves. And, I am in favor of providing VERY TEMPORARY assistance to those who have lost jobs or suffered illnesses, etc. until they get back on their own feet. But, if they show signs of lingering in their malaise and not making things happen to earn a living, I think the best way to drag them out of it is to make them take responsibility for themselves. People who know they are responsible for themselves, will usually step up and get it done. The feeling of satisfaction from having dragged yourself up by the bootstraps is amazing and also serves as the confidence and motivation to continue to move forward.
Having served for a while on the Benevolence Team at a church, I have seen both kinds of people. Those who are broke are a joy to work with and help. Many of them almost apologize for seeking help and you can see by the actions they are taking to seek employment that they aren't going to linger in their current circumstances any longer than they have to. Those who are poor are not so much of a joy to work with and help. In some cases their attitude says just give me the money and let me get out of here and back to my lazy life. Some have their priorities in the wrong place and have not yet discovered it is more important to put food on the table than have cable TV. There are variations of poor but none of them are valid in my opinion.
Poor and Broke are attitudes. YOU get to choose which you want to be. Taking responsibility for yourself can be scary at first. But, take it from me, in the end it is so very freeing. If you are not currently well off financially, I definitely recommend Broke over Poor any day of the week. SOAR, my friends!
Always remember, if you have given your life to Jesus Christ, He will walk with you on the Broke journey. So, you won't ever be alone in your quest.
Blessings,
Mary
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